I HAVE A PRAYER REQUEST
I have a prayer request. I wrote a Ten Chapter Bible Study about my brain tumor experience. I know the Lord was in the mix as I got the rough draft done in five days. I have aligned it with the book of Job.
Recently, due to unexpected financial burdens I have had to lay aside the publication efforts. However, recently the Holy Spirit has been once again pressing me to pursue it’s publication by stepping out in faith.
Today I got an email from a publishing company holding a contest. The winner would get a $9,000 publishing package! I know I have a one in a million chance of winning but our God is a God of miracles, so I entered for $40. I have included my first chapter below this post. Since the contest had a word limit, I was not able to add the “bible study” part and scriptures.
I am excited about 2013. The past two years have been so full of healing and change and the past 12 have been very painful. I am full of hope about my future. I am so eager to see what God will do with my life. I am reading THE HIDING PLACE by Corrie ten Boom and once again God is encouraging me. The first 50 years of her life were a preparation of her later ministry. I am hoping that will be my story. We are never too old to learn, grow, and serve. I cherish all of you and thank you for your prayers. Cheryl
LIFE lessons can be challenging. God does not promise us an easy life, but it is not all darkness and suffering. We have a choice to see things with a positive mind set. To recognize negativity in our thinking is the beginning of our perspective transformation, a first step.
I did not ask for a near death experience. However, God knew what it would take to get my attention and move me out of my place of comfort. I was spiritually stagnant and God wanted to use me. He was not finished with me, although death did knock on my door. A slow growing brain tumor had changed my behavior, emotions, and energy level.
My loving parents could tell by our weekly phone conversations that I was not “myself.” After praying for two years, they decided to take me to their doctor in Arizona.
Their doctor was able to recognize a neurological problem just by watching me walk. He told my parents to take me to St. Joseph’s Hospital as they had the best neurological department in the nation. At this point I had lost all memory. I do not remember the MRI or my brain surgeon telling me I had a brain tumor. I do not remember going into surgery but only waking up in ICU.
Death was the thing I wished for during my time in ICU. I was overwhelmed by the journey I would have to endure in order to recover from such a radical surgery. The perfect death scenario had been placed at my feet. I had felt little pain, aside from the migraines during my last two weeks prior to the surgery. There had been no memory or fear of going into surgery. I could have gone to the place where there were no more tears and sorrow. Instead, my Savior had thrown me back like a fish too small to meet the length requirements.
Wanting the “easy way out” is a human and fleshly way to live life. My death would have been relatively painless but a great loss for my son, parents, and sister. I acknowledged that my attitude was selfish as my parents had already lost and buried a son who had died mountain climbing.
As I am a very independent woman, I was humbled when I needed help to walk, bathe, and use the bathroom. I did not want to be a burden to my family.
While in the hospital, I had physical and speech therapy. One exercise was to test and practice my logic and mental reasoning. The worksheet was like those I had given my third graders when I was still a teacher in Oregon. My humiliation and shame over the challenge such an exercise required, brought on a multitude of tears full of self-pity. I could relate to Job. I knew my road was not going to be easy. It would be an upward path. A mountain I would have to climb if I ever hoped to enjoy a mountain top experience ever again.
For a few weeks I saw a new face looking back at me in the mirror. It was horrifying. Vanity is an ugly thing. The swelling caused me to look different every day. There was a lot of drainage that needed to take place. The bruising, swelling, and numbness around the top of my skull depressed me.
My tumor had been slow growing. In fact, my surgeon told me it could have been growing for over ten years. It was on my frontal lobe. Thankfully, it was not cancerous and my surgeon was able to remove it all. But because my brain was swollen and the tumor was large, my vision was impaired by the pressure. For over two weeks I could not read or see clearly. I worried that my independent life was over. I did not think I would ever read again. Writing was nearly impossible. Driving was out of the question. I could not see the numbers on my insulin vial, or prescription bottles so my dad had to prepare all the meds for me. I wondered if I would ever work again. I did not want to live on disability.
None of us ask for storms to come in and rip us apart. To accept trials with a joyful heart is never easy. My life is a work in progress but I can now say I am thankful for my Life Interruption for I know it was a Divine Intervention.